Saying “goodbye” is always difficult. Imagine being seven and having to say goodbye to your dad, not knowing when you will see him again. This recently happened to Kaiden Hanan when his dad, Matthew Hanan (a 1992 KAHS graduate) was deployed to war. Kaiden and his aunt, Tiera Rozman wrote a book about Kaiden’s experience of saying goodbye. It was published mid-April. The book “My Dad, Everyone’s Soldier,” explains many of the experiences that Kaiden went through as his dad left for war. Included in the story are Kaiden’s experience with helping his younger brother understand their dad’s absence, recalling memories of his father and describing his dad’s service. The book also contains a special letter that Kaiden wrote to his father. Seven-year-old Kaiden explained that he wrote the book for other kids. “It helps kids know what it’s like if their dad is in the war.” Efforts began in March to put the book together, said Kaiden’s mom, Tiffany Hanan. She explained that leaning on families and friends helps her deal with Matthew’s absence. She said that the book idea came about as she was telling her sister Rozman about one specific incident. “We were at school and [Kaiden’s] teacher asked how we were doing. After I said we were okay, Kaiden told the teacher that that I lied and said ‘we weren’t doing so terrific,’” cited Tiffany. After hearing this story, Rozman took Kaiden’s words and put them into a story, completing the concept with pictures of Kaiden and his family. Even though this situation was “going to be horrible, God made it a blessing for our book,” said Kaiden. Coping without dad “It is difficult on the family not to have Matt home,” said Tiffany. “We really worry about his safety and it is hard not to know when he will be home next.” Kaiden helps out in this situation, particularly with his little brother. Young Kaiden understands that his dad is going to be gone for a long time and helps convey this. Kaiden shows his brother pictures of his dad and tells him it will be okay. When showing his brother the book, Kaiden explained, “He actually wants to hold the book. We can’t take it away from him. He likes it since my dad is on the cover.” To prepare the boys for their dad’s absence, Tiffany said “Communication is the key. We talked about how dad was going to the army and he would be away a long time.” Before being deployed, Matt prepared video and audio tapes for his boys. On the tapes, Matt reads books; the boys watch or listen to these tapes before going to bed. Both children also have a photo album of their dad and there are photos all around the house so the kids “see” their dad daily. Everyone’s soldier: the man behind the story Matthew Hanan has been in the army reserves for the last eight years. He was deployed on Feb. 25, 2003 to be part of the second phase of the war, “Operation Enduring Freedom.” He will serve in an engineering battalion and will help rebuild Iraq. “Matthew is the consummate soldier,” said his father Norman Hanan, Pastor of Concordia Evangelical Lutheran in Fair Haven. “He is the kind of man that those who know him would say I am glad that the army has men like him.” The pastor explained that his son’s absence really hit him when they had a farewell party. “It was really overwhelming.” While at the party, Pastor Hanan pondered the thoughts of his son leaving. One memory played over in his mind. “Matthew accompanied our family for a three-day weekend boundary water canoeing trip,” recalled Pastor Hanan. “It was at the end of September. The water and air were about 50 degrees.” The group of canoes, made up of Pastor Hanan and his sons had a difficult portage one evening. “My sons wanted to find the perfect spot to camp,” said Pastor Hanan. He remembered walking far from the water to the desired site. The terrain was pretty rough and was far away. The next morning, the group was running late. Some of the family wanted to get on with the trip without tying down the gear. “Matthew is very detail-oriented and said we needed to tie it down,” said Norman. The group did this and were thankful later. In the middle of the lake, about thirty minutes from shore, one of the canoes tipped over. Matthew was in this canoe with his father. “The first thing that Matthew did was grab the life jacket and say ‘here dad,’” reflected the paster. “I will never forget that.” Norman was impressed with Matthew’s act, making sure his dad was taken care of first. After the event, Pastor Hanan came home and read an article from the DNR saying that people have a 50 percent survival rate of staying in 50 degree water for fifteen minutes. “I could have died,” said the pastor. The thought of Matthew’s act has stayed with him since. “My Dad, Everyone’s Soldier” While the book is only sixteen-pages long, it has a big impact on those that read it. “When most people read it, they cry,” said Pastor Hanan. “It is a powerful book,” Tiffany added. The short story “gives permission for children to grieve the loss of their family member [who is serving in the military]. It shows children that it is okay to say that they miss their mom or dad or feel the way they feel,” said Pastor Hanan. “Adults will see this, too and give their kids permission to talk about the way that they feel.” The book sells for $9.95 and can be purchased online or at the Tri-County News office, which is open Mondays and Tuesdays, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. or Thursdays and Fridays 9 a.m. to 12 (noon), in downtown Kimball. The family recently had an offer to make the book into a CD, with Kaiden reading the story. Walden books and Barnes and Noble are in negotiations to have the books available at their stores. For more information, check out the Web site www.everyonessoldier.com.
