It was a line I stole from Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, but secretly, I thought I had a pretty good idea whether or not my own kids needed medical attention.
Thinking I was a sensible man, medically trained in the ailments of a variety of species, I would not fall into the category of people rushing their children to urgent care on a Sunday afternoon, based on the symptoms of coughing a little, or perhaps having a bit of a watery eye. So I assured my wife, if the symptoms were still there in the morning, she would not have to worry while she was at work, because I would make time and schedule an appointment (at the human clinic, of course) for our girls, and take them myself.
I thought the girls looked pretty good when they woke up, but my wife thought otherwise. Again, I said I would handle it … no problem, Honey. But Monday mornings being what they are, turned quickly into Monday afternoon, and I still had not scheduled an appointment for our girls. At some point in the afternoon, I called daycare, and our provider said they both seemed pretty good before their nap, which they were currently enjoying, but that she would call me if anything changed. Feeling pretty good about my health assessment of the little humans, I went on with my business, thinking I would put off the doctor appointment to another day, if they needed it at all.
Then comes the call: They’re not acting sick, but there are some noticeably swollen eyes, and the baby is definitely asking for her Mommy more than usual. I quickly hang up with our daycare provider and call the medical clinic, asking if there are any appointments available for the afternoon. They of course ask who is calling, so I tell them my name, and they say they are full, but they have my daughters coming in at 4:20 p.m., and that their Grandma will be bringing them! Completely deflated, I realized that my wife had known better than I, that our kids were sick, had known better than I, would schedule an appointment, and had known better than I, would have been able to take them to the doctor and had arranged her mother to take them, even after I assured her I would handle the whole process.
They were both prescribed antibiotics due to infections: respiratory in the 3-year-old, and an ear infection in the 1-year old. Shows what I know. As much as I love my girls, my wife knows them better. Gentlemen, when it comes to your children, listen to your wives. If you want to talk about your animals, I’m all ears.