Each of us has an inner strength that guides us and helps direct our lives. This inner-being allows us to dream, believe and set goals. It inspires us to live for a cause, rejoices when things are going right and brings us strength during trying times. This source of strength helps define who we are and what we live for. Watkins resident Sandy (Fischer) Hansen says her inner strength has helped her through the last three years. This strength makes her understand life from a different perspective. An instant connection Three years ago, Sandy Fischer was out with a girlfriend. The pair had gone out many times and made mutual friends. Another friend walked in with a man. Not recognizing this man, Sandy turned to her girlfriend and asked who he was. At the same time, the man, Randy, was asking his friend about Sandy. The two were introduced and felt an immediate connection. Randy and Sandy began dating. The couple took walks together, went to movies, spent time with family and friends, and took trips. Sandy remembered that some of their favorite times were walking together at St. John’s University. “We really liked watching the birds and sitting by the water,” Sandy said. After courting for six months, Randy chose a special place to ask the big question – St. John’s Abbey. “He told me that he thought he should do it before God,” said Sandy. The couple began preparations for their big day. They chose their wedding party, planned showers, and booked the church. Everything moved along smoothly until a few months before the wedding. In August 2001, Sandy noticed some bruises on Randy and convinced him to go to the doctor for a check-up. One month before the wedding, Randy was diagnosed with leukemia, a cancer of the blood. “We were both shocked,” Sandy said. “He was healthy and athletic. This was something that you never would have guessed [he had].” Wedding plans were put on hold so Randy could regain his health. “It was something that we accepted because we couldn’t change [it],” Sandy said. For the entire month of September, Sandy sat by Randy’s side. The couple spent every day in the hospital as Randy received treatments to rid him of the cancer. The couple did not know if they would be wed, but it didn’t seem to matter. A week-and-a-half before the wedding, the couple was told that they could be married. Arrangements were quickly made to confirm the church, order a cake, and prepare the last details. “All that was different was Randy was bald [after going through the treatments],” Sandy said. The two became husband and wife on October 13, 2001. A changed life After a wedding, most married couples spend all of their time together, learning more about one another and enjoying each other’s company. The Hansens didn’t get this opportunity. Two weeks after their wedding, Randy and Sandy were back in the hospital for his second round of treatments. Side by side, the couple supported and comforted one another. Randy was in the hospital for the three months after the wedding. “We were a great team,” Sandy said. “When we got bad news, we would cry about it for a little while. Then we made our game plan on how we would get through [the problem],” said Sandy. She spent every night in her husband’s hospital room, sleeping on a folded-out recliner. She said she wanted to be close to him throughout the process. “When you spend day in and day out together in the same room, you really get to know the other person.” Sandy recalled, “We had really good nonverbal communication. We could really read each other.” A blessing received Good news came for the couple in March 2002. Randy went through his last round of treatments and the doctors released him, declaring him cancer-free. With the burden finally lifted, the couple was ready to enjoy life. They were excited for the newfound freedom and time to be newly-weds. The summer went well, the couple lived a regular life and enjoyed every moment together. In August 2002, more cancer was found. The Hansens took the news harder this time than they had the first time. Sandy said this time was different. “Now we knew the difficult road ahead. We also knew how good we had it and had a couple of months to get a taste of the good life.” Doctors had forewarned the couple that if the cancer had reappeared, they would need to do a bone marrow transplant. Randy’s father Marcellus was the closest match; he was selected to donate marrow. “Before the transplant, chemotherapy was started to get rid of Randy’s immune system,” Sandy explained. “There is no turning around once chemotherapy is started, [so it is critical for everything to be in order].” The transplant was performed in mid-October, just 1 year after the couple’s wedding. Randy’s system never responded to the first transplant. A second was needed, which would keep Randy in the hospital for several months. Three months later, on Christ-mas Day, he was released. With Randy in a weakened condition, the couple came home and spent the Holiday with their families. After one short day of celebration, the couple went back to the hospital for more treatments and tests. Things weren’t going well. “Within one week, we went from visiting family to being back in the hospital to him being gone,” Sandy said, tears welling in her eyes. “His kidneys, liver and everything had shut down.” At 34, Randy Hansen had lost his battle to cancer. “It was a nightmare. It was what you would see on TV. It is very haunting and something that I think about every day.” Sandy Hansen became a widow at 30. A life after loss; a way to live While this loss was very hard and traumatic, Hansen has learned that life must go on. She has since made it her goal to share Randy’s life with others and remind them that every day is special. Sandy said her life would not be the same without meeting Randy. She has no regrets, and if she knew what was going to happen, she said she would do it again. “Randy made life very different. His everyday dealings with people were amazing. His outlook on life was so different. He had a positive attitude on everything. Many people in his circumstance would give up. He said, ‘[Cancer] is just a big speed bump.’ He was always positive. “So many people benefited from him in his life. He had a way of dealing with people and I try to take that with me,” Sandy said. “Whenever there was a problem, he said ‘I am not going to lose sleep over it.’ “The lessons I have learned are to be very thankful. This really puts into perspective what life is all about. “I have learned that some things in our life are out of our control. I have found out that God’s will will be done.” Sandy said that everyone can benefit from this lesson. “We try to control so much in our world now. The most important things are something that we will never be able to understand,” Sandy said. Sandy admitted how hard it has been to go on without Randy. She said the worst part about losing a loved one is not having someone to come home to at night, to eat your meals with, or to make decisions with. “It is easy to have the ‘woe is me’ syndrome, but this is something that Randy wouldn’t fall victim to,” Sandy said. She is determined to live her life without regrets and by looking forward because this is what Randy would have wanted. A vow to help One thing that Randy and Sandy planned to do together was to educate others who were dealing with cancer. In fact, the couple started to write a book outline to offer tips to others with cancer. Sandy remembered how she and Randy went back to living their lives normally the summer after Randy was medically cleared. When the cancer came back, the couple decided that they needed to reach out to others and saw that they didn’t do this the first time around. “We didn’t have many resources at the hospital,” Sandy said. “We thought that it would be nice for others to have a literature to read. Something that was local.” Sandy intends to carry out this part of the couple’s goal and plans to be a community resource. “I want to do something big to impact a lot of people. However, I need to start
small. I want to be a resource for others in our community.” While Sandy works on projects to use Randy’s life example to impact others, one message was clear. Spirituality and a strong belief in God got the couple through Randy’s illness. Sandy also credits these for her own ability and determination to move on to new things. “I don’t know how we would have gotten through without faith and hope – that is all we had, faith and God. Everything would have been very different without these things present.” Every evening before going to bed, Sandy and Randy would pray with one another to overcome the disease that had plagued their lives. “Randy’s prayers got longer and more spiritual,” Sandy said. “It was very impressive to witness. A lot of people told us it was okay to be mad at God – but we never even brought that up – we felt that this is either going to break your faith or make it stronger. “Randy is my angel now. He has definitely left a legacy. He is a person you will never forget even though he died young.”
