Central Minnesota Suicide Prevention Coalition
• You chat with a friend who has been quarantined and says his COVID benefits have run out. He feels isolated and hopeless. He tells you that he thinks his grandkids would benefit from his life insurance policy.
• You visit with one of your old high school buddies who just went through a horrible divorce, and lost custody of his kids. He comes across his old Letterman jacket, and says he’d like for you to have it.
• You scroll through your Facebook wall, and come upon a post from a Facebook friend that simply says, “Life isn’t worth it.”
Know what to do
Recognize the warning signs
Some of the warning signs are excessive sadness, mood swings or increased iritability.
Other signs include hopelessness, sleep problems, withdrawal from others, or loss of interest in activities. Giving away personal possessions or increased use of alcohol or drugs can also be a warning sign of someone who is at risk for suicide.
Begin a diagogue: Ask questions
Your willingness to talk about suicide with your friend, family member or co-worker can be that first step in getting them the help they need, and possibly saving a life.
If you see warning signs of suicide, begin a dialogue by asking questions. Questions that can be helpful when talking to someone who you believe may be contemplating suicide may include:
• “Do you ever feel so bad that you think about suicide?”
• “Do you have a plan to kill yourself or to take your life?”
• “You seem pretty down, upset, miserable, (fill in the blank). Sometimes when people are feeling that way, they wish they were dead. Are you feeling that way?”
Suicidal thoughts should be considered a medical emergency, and a suicidal person should see a doctor or a mental health professional immediately.
Asking these questions will help you determine if your friend or family member is in immediate danger, and to make the decision to get help, if needed. If you are uncomfortable asking those kinds of questions seek outside help immediately by taking the appropriate action steps below:
• Do not leave the person alone.
Options for help:
• Call 9-1-1.
• Bring them to a hospital emergency room.
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK (8255).
• Text to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
• Department of Human Services site – you can contact local crisis providers for assistance – every county in Minnesota has a crisis response team. https://mn.gov/dhs/people-we-serve/adults/health-care/mental-health/resources/crisis-contacts.jsp.
No time for secrets
Never keep a plan for suicide a secret! Don’t worry about risking a friendship if you truly feel a life is in danger. It is better to risk a friendship by trying to get them help rather than to go to that friend’s funeral. And most of the time they will come back to you and thank you for saving their life.
No minimizing or shaming
Trying to convince a person having thoughts of suicide that it’s not that bad, or that they have “everything to live for” may actually increase their feelings of guilt and hopelessness. Instead, reassure them that help is available, what they are experiencing is treatable, and suicidal feelings are temporary. Life can get better!
Acknowledge the pain is legitimate and offer to work together to get help. Make sure you follow through. This is one instance where you must be persistent with your follow-up. Help find a doctor or a mental health professional, participate in making the first phone call, or go along with them to their first appointment. If you’re in a position to help, don’t assume that your persistence is unwanted or unappreciated. Risking your feelings to help save a life is a risk worth taking!