Summer time home alone?

Ah, summer time: when the living is easy, the fish are jumpin’, and the kids are home from school full-time. With more and more Minnesota families working outside the home, and having children ages 6-17, that means lots of families with new child-care issues come summertime.

Summertime this year may mean a decision about whether the kids can be home alone. When to leave a child home alone is a difficult decision, unfortunately, in many cases, family circumstances force a choice before parents have a chance to consider all the issues and make a judgment.

Before you get to that point in your family, think about these two questions:

First, how mature is my child? Children vary widely in their ability to follow temptations. Generally speaking, many 10-year olds are ready to handle being alone for short periods of time, an hour or so. Age alone, however is not a reliable guide.

Secondly, how safe and familiar is my neighborhood? Having a familiar neighbor willing to check on the child or be available can ease your mind and can also provide a sense of security to the child. If one is not available, you may want to rethink your decision to leave your child alone.

When you decide to leave your child home alone, take some time to prepare your child in advance. Here are some basics:

¥ Establish clear rules and specific routines.

¥ Discuss with your child: whether friends are allowed in the house, whether they can go outside and how far from home they can venture; time limits for telephone conversations, computer and internet time; and acceptable snacks.

¥ With the child, make a schedule of activities and post it on the refrigerator. Review important telephone numbers and post them next to the schedule.

¥ Review safety rules, try to do this in a way that does not leave your child fearful or overly anxious, rather than cautionary tales about terrible things that may happen, teach a few basic rules about what to do in particular situations, like when the doorbell rings; when an unknown person calls on the telephone, or if a fire breaks out.

¥ When the time comes, help your child feel connected to you, leave a special message or snack surprise to let him know he is in your thoughts while you are away from home.

Begin with short intervals of absence. Run an errand, or visit a neighbor, for the first few times that you leave your child alone. Gradually increase the frequency and length of your absences.

It’s useful to remember that even though your child is mature enough to be left alone for an hour or two, it doesn’t mean that he is ready to be left in charge of a younger sibling. That’s another decision to think through.

Keep in mind also that no child under the age of 15 should be left alone for extended periods of time, particularly at night.

Finally, parents, congratulate yourselves that your children are growing up and learning to take more responsibility. That’s a key part of getting older and as parents, be sure to appreciate the good work you’re doing to get them going in a healthy direction.

Source: U of M Extension