I owe my grasp of the English language – such as it is – to my grandmother. She never allowed us to use improper words like ‘ain’t’ or ‘dang’ around her. Come to think of it, I owe grandma for proper etiquette too because she never allowed us to pick our noses in her presence, but that’s the subject of another column.
As a father, I now understand what an incredible responsibility it is to provide my children with a comprehension of the proper use of our native tongue. Their ability to be articulate could be the difference between them saying something like, “My colleagues and I have discovered a cure for the common cold,” or “Would you like to make it a value meal for only a dollar more.” Anyone with teenagers understands how difficult this task is because kids between the ages of 12 and 18 speak what seems to be an entirely different dialect.
If you were to visit your local bookstore you will find instruction manuals on how to speak and understand Spanish, French, German and even lesser-known languages like Welsh and Gaelic, but there doesn’t seem to be any resource available for developing one’s ability to communicate with teenagers. As a result, I would like to offer you, the bewildered parent, a brief primmer into the confusing vernacular of our offspring:
BFF – This term is commonly used both verbally and while using the cryptic form of communication known as ‘texting.’ It means ‘Best Friends Forever’ and can refer to both temporary and permanent relationships.
Think that one is confusing, well then how about …
Emo – Contrary to the common adult misinterpretation, an Emo is not a flightless bird native to Australia, but is instead a term used to describe a youth that prefers to wear a great deal of black clothing, has a hairstyle similar to an Old English Sheepdog, and listens to depressing music about his seemingly miserable middle-class life.
Kickin’ – This term is commonly used in two different ways. 1. To spend time with those with whom a meaningful relationship has been established or … 2. The conveyance of the user’s favorable impression of someone or something (i.e. Lucas’ new car is ‘kickin’).
My Bad – This specific phrase is the closest many of us will get to actually hearing our teenager admit an error of judgment. My advice is to accept this phrase as a sincere attempt on the part of your teen to convey contrition.
And for those with teenaged daughters the following term requires your immediate attention …
Playa – A playa is most often a teenage boy who dates numerous girls simultaneously while managing to avoid any and all commitments (note: to all future ‘playas’ in my daughter’s grade: I exercise my 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms and am a fairly decent shot).
Rents – If a teenager wishes to procure permission for something, he or she may say to their friends, “Let me ask my ‘rents’,” meaning of course their ‘parents.’
Tope – Is a conglomeration of the words ‘tight’ and ‘dope’ and I think it means ‘cool,’ or maybe it means ‘awesome,’ or possibly ‘neat’ … Ah, the heck with it! They’ll be graduating in a few years and you’ll likely only ever have to communicate with them on holidays. Nmfredrickson.com.
© 2009, N.M. Fredrickson. All rights reserved.
The Teenager-to-English Dictionary
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