Jean Matua “From the Heart”
Depending on which research studies you read, the most we are different from one human being to another is about 5 percent. The other “major differences” are things we choose to separate us from each other by giving those things greater importance.
For example, what we think and believe, how we express those thoughts and beliefs, and how tenaciously we hang onto them will vary from one individual to another – even within the same family. No doubt many of you are already thinking of at least one friend or family member with whom you disagree strongly about something or another – especially these days.
But deep down, at our core, we humans have the same needs and wants and desires. Think about it for a moment, if you will. We need the basics in life: food, water, shelter. We all want happiness and good health, for ourselves and our loved ones. We need to feel safe, and we want opportunities to better ourselves.
Individual priorities and emphasis on these things will vary from one person to the next. How we pursue our needs and wants will vary as well. But the core concepts remain the same with us all.
Today we are being coerced and cajoled into choosing “a side” (on many topics) and sticking with it – ferociously if necessary. It could be over political lines, religious ideologies, or ethnic/national differences. Race shouldn’t be an issue because we are all of the human race, although there are those who choose to make skin color an issue under the guise of “race.” Even with all these potential dividing factors, we are still far more similar than we are different.
We learned to make others “different” from us when we were just kids. There were those who had the most popular clothes or shoes or haircut, and those who didn’t. Some were from town while others lived in the country. Some had money, others not so much. There were kids who went to our church, and there were all the “others.” Kids we knew from kindergarten, and the newcomers. Interests and talents further identified differences: athletics, music, dancing, driving, scholastics, outgoing vs. introverted. Our brains like to categorize everything in our lives and “file them” into little cubby holes that make sense. And our brains find comfort in the known and the familiar. So we learned early on to stick to our own kind, so to speak, whatever that meant at the time.
What I would challenge each of you readers to do now – in this incredibly divisive time – is to focus on how we still are all so similar. We all want to better ourselves and our families. We want to find happiness by whatever path gets us there. We want to be comfortable and content in life. We need to feel safe and secure. We need to believe in something, and belong to something. And we expect certain protections as we pursue these things we need and want.
I challenge you to go a step further: acknowledge these similar basic wants and needs in others, especially those who disagree (and those who are disagreeable about it!). We have so much more in common than we think.
We’ve done it before, whenever disaster has struck. We can do it again (and again)! We need to now.