Jean Matua “From the Heart”
Every day, it seems more clear that there is no simple or easy solution to increasing tensions and divisiveness in our country and our world. It’s tragic, but certainly not hopeless.
Here’s my solution: find and accept Grace.
Grace can be defined simply as “courteous goodwill.” I take the definition a bit further: acceptance that, at this exact moment, I’m okay and, by extension, you’re okay.
This does not mean that there’s no room for improvement. Nor is it denial of existing conflicts. It just means I choose to be at rest, right now.
There are many things to love about Grace. It doesn’t cost a thing. It takes no time. Grace is self-renewing. And it’s contagious. Grace does not require work or a fight to achieve; it only requires a simple choice. Grace can be achieved (chosen) alone; it requires no team effort. Grace is always there, always fully charged and ready to be activated.
Much like love, you can share Grace with someone and not lose any for yourself. Many would argue that both can grow when shared.
Be prepared, though, for some potent side-effects of Grace: peace, calm, tranquility, stress relief, clarity of thought, and more.
So how can this work in practice? Well, start with yourself; that’s the easiest and, let’s be honest, the only person whose thoughts and behavior we can control.
Here’s an example. At the end of the day, instead of reviewing all of your shortcomings, mistakes, and screw-ups, choose to give yourself Grace. “Today I did my best. Tomorrow I can do better. Right at this moment, I am enough.”
Here’s another. You’re at work, and you realize you have an afternoon overfilled with meetings or tasks that must be done. Sit quietly for a moment, and take a deep breath. Repeat the deep breath several times. Then say to yourself, “I am able. I am ready. I will do my best, and my best will be enough. I can do this.”
By now, you may be imagining situations in your life where Grace can be a balm to the stresses and anxieties that we too often indulge and let run rampant. There is a delightful option: Grace.
Once you’ve chosen Grace for yourself, you’re in a position to choose it for others as well. No, you can’t change their attitude, but you can choose to give them the Grace you both deserve. And the fun part is that they don’t even need to know.
For example, you’re out shopping and encounter an employee who strikes you as a total grump today. Rather than going on and on in your mind about what an awful person, horrible employee, and inept individual they are, you can simply choose to give them Grace. No doubt, the individual is having a bad day. Chances are good that they have at least some good work days. It’s entirely possible – especially these days – that someone just yelled at them for something out of their control (like the store is out of an item, or the line is long, or that person is having an extraordinarily bad day and chose to pass it on). It’s easy and almost natural to grumble all day long about that irritating clerk, but what good does that do anyone? None, I argue. Instead, try this: choose to give him or her Grace. The Grace of benefit of the doubt. The Grace to not be their best every moment of every day. The Grace to be human.
Giving someone that Grace probably won’t change their day, or their behavior. But it can nip in the bud that spiral of negativity in our mind, the kind of negativity that could be passed on and on and on to all around us.
Grace can be a wonderful thing, for each of us and for those around us. Kindness is never wasted, nor is a good heart.